Epiphany

Dear Picasso,

I abruptly needed to talk to you about the past && current events in my life *secretly not in detail*. I have had the strange realization of my innermost feelings including progress. What do I want out of life? Who do I want to share it with? Am I doing as much as I can with my time? All of these things hit me like lighting...I recently felt something I haven't felt in a long time. The way this feeling made me feel was NOT good nor was it "completely" bad....it was an epiphany like a sudden revelation of what I need to fix, alter or change about myself. I want others in the world to remember me for what I've done, shared, created, how I made them feel and by simply giving as MUCH as I can to anyone && everyone without regrets. I want to be so in-tuned with nature, my art && soul that nothing or no one can take the essential part of living away from me. I have loved && lost.....each scenario keeping special segments of this wave inside my heart. I prayed to Jehovah....cried actually && he told me not to be sad over anything in this system of things because he is going to be sure that I am protected if I do the right things. When I speak of the right things I mean continuing to do random acts of kindness...volunteer somewhere, help a stranger && enjoy all free things because LESS IS MORE. I am content.....I forgive anyone who has unintentionally hurt me because I see the good in everyone && I still see it in a particular someone no matter how the house of cards were dealt. I had a talk with myself && with a distraught smile I made a list of all the wonderful qualities I KNOW this individual has && how I wish I could tell them even though I won't look BACK. When I needed someone to believe in me because I couldn't believe in myself they were there....the good should always outweigh the bad but it takes an evolving person to catch this. whether or not I feel this indescribably emotion the fact that it took over my body says to me just how much I cared. With this abundance of life inside me I want to give it to another the way it was given to me through showing who I really am && plan on being. I'm young but mature enough to recognize my own faults, failures && growth. No human on this earth is perfect but I do know that when you experience this same feeling that I cannot put into the right words....knowing that it existed doesn't mean you should let it die....give more life && breath to it. That is how reciprocity works, I realized that I should remain strong && positive NO MATTER WHAT someone out there has been through worst or wishing they had what I have now && that's the feeling of a therapeutic love. The way things turn out are not how they have to stay we can react in silence && if time permits...maybe it can reveal the dynamics of the core parts of those feelings....the kind that makes your face ache because you looked into someones soul && finally understood; Scary? I'm connected && deeply in tuned to the emotional side of my being, am I capable of making mistakes? ABSOLUTELY so instead of bashing out at the world I CHOOSE not to judge nor question what isn't meant for me to perceive right now. Instead I want to build healthy rooted relations with whomever I can while I am able. We each are battling are own demons so why do it alone? We need time to see ourselves inside out....getting to know why we make the decisions we make...Our openness to the mind is crazy because you never know how you will turn out...but I believe in everyone that they can change && make this world a better place even if we were not equally treated with such heartfelt intentions. I am blessed to be able to have the chapters && channels of all MOMENTS...that is how you learn, my Epiphany is not bittersweet but immersed....I thank you for this && Beyonce's---HALO reminds me of this person who will have a piece of me forever....it was another way for me to interpret "see that all human beings regardless of the history or background has a Halo even if it's hiding. It's wicked out here doesn't mean I have to be...I simply don't want to && i'm going to live my life seeing the good instead of criticizing those who have made mistakes! LOve SaBle