Friday, January 4, 2013

4 My Loners...

I'm laying on the couch eating my Hello Kitty fruits snacks reflecting on my 23 years of life. I am indeed a loner. Sometimes I see it as awesome other times dangerous. Too much time alone is bad for your psychological health they say but being around people everyday, all day or far too often drains the hell our of me. I enjoy spending time by myself, I have a very healthy relationship with ME. I often want to write, read, research, paint or design which means I have to think or be alone to get it accomplished by focusing. I do NOT like talking on the phone yet people call me a million times a day even if I don't answer. I don't mind texting me but even that isn't fun to me because the conversation aren't fulfilling enough for me to continue the conversations. I don't want you to think i'm rude, mean or a boring person. I'm full of life!!! It's just I like to be alone && I can no longer control it. I really want to be in a relationship so I can be with someone who understands me && we can quietly enjoy being with each while doing our own favorable hobbies. Being weird is nothing to me but my friends don't get why I might be this way. Sometime I feel when I let people inside my most personal zone they don't appreciate what i'm sharing. I don't care about opinions, advice or people discussing my business with other's. I like to keep it all to myself or release it in my own special way. It's said loners don't know how to social but i'm way too sociably accepted. I just constantly need rebooting because the problems are plentiful && people don't mind dragging you in it. To those who completely get where i'm coming from why is it so hard for other's to give you your space without getting upset, gossiping or coming up with crazy conclusions that you're going through something? Maybe I just don't feel like being bothered && will contact you when I can be. Thanks for allowing me to vent, i'm just not easily read as much as I hear i'm like a crystal ball think again. Keeping my interest is pretty rare but no offense I love my circle, associates && those who have my best wishes just respect that I live in my own world 8 hours out the day with meditated poses, in the daytime smelling roses && daydreaming of distant places ..I was drifting off as I wrote that! I'm use to being alone in my deepest nature that's how you get to know who you truly are. so it's hard for me to jump into group functions blabbing my guts out! I feel better now i'm off to watch a movie by my lonesome 

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